I’ve mentioned that when I was in high school, I expected to be engaged (or married) by this time. Obviously, that is not the path my life has taken, and sometimes, especially with people getting engaged and married left and right, it’s hard to remember that it’s okay. It’s hard to remember that God’s plan for me is bigger. It’s hard to remember that the right man is out there and within reach and going to be in my life soon. It’s hard to remember to be patient.
During my usual Facebook time today, I saw this on one of my sisters’ pages. It’s pretty perfect:
“Girls, I think you should wait for what you deserve, get what you need, and love what you have because there’re too many guys out there willing to take what you have, lose what you give, and break what you love.”
Prior to my break up with my ex-boyfriend, a lot of what I was being told was, in effect, “You don’t deserve the way he treats you.” After the news that I had broken up with him had spread throughout our circles of friends, I still heard how much I deserved better. Every time I think about the next person I date, whoever he may be, so much of my focus is on avoiding the mistakes made in my last relationship and avoiding the behavior I didn’t deserve. And I fully intend on finding what I do deserve — and I’m prepared to wait.
In looking for a job for the past six months, I keep thinking about the job I want. I was so idealistic and completely unrealistic in thinking I would get the exact job I wanted out of college. Life doesn’t happen that way. The current economy doesn’t allow for the exact job I want. I have the opportunity for things that are pretty closely related, things that will give me great experience, things that will lead me to exactly what I want. However, as my parents were too quick to remind me during my job hunt, it’s not about want. It’s about need. Sometimes you have to take a job that’s not exactly the job you dreamed; sometimes you take one for the team so you can have what you need (and get what you want later).
As for loving what I have, every time I stop and think about what I have — two wonderful parents who have put up with a lot of moodiness and sadness and craziness on my behalf (Thank you, Job Market), a ridiculously supportive older brother who makes sure to check in on me and listens to my ramblings about job hunting, a hilarious little sister who makes me laugh and helps me keep perspective on my lengthy unemployment, fabulous sorority sisters who are praying and keeping their fingers crossed and thinking good thoughts and just waiting for me to come back home, best friends who are encouraging and as hopeful as I am that the economy turns itself right side up soon, and all the love in the world — I feel overwhelmed by how blessed I am. I have so much — much more than I deserve, but it’s absolutely what I need.
I know that it won’t be much longer until my whole life changes completely. I also know that when it happens, I’m still going to have everything I have now (and with any luck, I’ll gain things, too), and I’m still going to love it — fiercely and strongly and protectively because I’m not letting go of what I do have. That was the most important part of the whole thing, anyway: Love what you have.
