Remember on Monday when I was all, “It’s a four day week” and “Things could be worse”?
Things got worse. I’m sure you ascertained that by me mentioning the crap hit the fan. The rest of the week has been about dealing with the repercussions of crap hitting the fan in really, seriously, terribly monumental way, and the worst part is knowing that none of this — absolutely none of this — is within my control.
So I’ve been crying and praying and worrying and stressing and trying to find silver linings in things, and none of this makes sense, and the answer is near but not close enough to have, and all I can do is sit and wonder how soon “soon” actually is. I know everything’s going to be all right. I know everything’s going to work out. I am beginning to hate those phrases, though, because they are so easy to say and so easy to throw out when you’re not the one dealing with this. I appreciate the concern and the support, but really? Is there nothing else to say?
In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t the worst thing to happen in the history of life. It’s just one the most terrible things to happen, and the worst part is knowing that even though I’m not technically alone in this, I can’t help but feel alone. And yes, I know everything is going to be just fine, probably sooner than I know, but nothing makes this stop sucking.
So that is what I have been up to. Please keep praying and crossing fingers and thinking good thoughts. I need all the love and support I can get.
